My post today was going to be a bread recipe. I will share it but I sat here wondering why would anyone care about it today especially other Zimbabweans.
Each time I sit down to share a recipe, I wonder how many people will be able to afford milk or cheese. Do people care about the different ways of making muboora, if they are worried about having water or any other basic need? Or how many people can afford to download my books? Am I adding value to people’s lives? Do I sound privileged and removed from the everyday struggles of the people I grew up with?
My country has been going through this economic “thing” (I honestly don’t know how to define it) for a long time. Depending on where your family lies on the economic scale, life has been difficult for at least 16 years or your whole life. The income inequality is staggering and getting worse. It is especially hard on the mothers with young kids as they try to provide for their families.
I have never done a full post on any of this because I hate politics. It depresses me. Also because I self censor myself, and right now questioning myself if I should even be writing this. A part of me also feels like I am not doing my son any favours by not saying or doing anything to help my country. I ask myself so many times, will he think I am a coward for not saying or doing anything. If I teach him to stand up for himself am I being a hypocrite? Do as I say not as I do? Should he judge me for choosing comfort over sticking out in Zimbabwe?
Truth is, I do not want to answer these questions because I will not like the person in the mirror.
Yet here I am letting you know that I do think about these things even when I do not add my voice to it. I have a voice. I have to remind myself that. I do not know how to express it in this context. I am emotional. Too emotional to be objective.
I have a voice. I have to remind myself that. Share on XI know how to create. It is what I do best. It is my hope that in the chaos of life my creations will make you hope, create, and entertained. When I post about a silly recipe when the world is imploding it is not that I do not see the implosion, I just do not know how to express it
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You’re not wrong to choose a better life for yourself, for your son, and for your family. I grew up in extreme poverty, albeit in a supposedly first-world nation. Many of the people that I grew up with are now dead- lost along the way to illness, drugs, and the other side effects of a life lived in poverty. Some of us grew up with crooked bones or other defects, due to malnutrition. Some grew up twisted up inside, emotionally. A lot of them are still there. I wish I could help them, but I know that I can’t change their lives. All that I can do is help where I can. But you can drown, yourself, when you try to save all of the sinking ships, so to speak.
I will never apologize for “rising above my station”. Ever. And I know that there are people, where I came from, who believe that’s what I’ve done. And that for whatever reason, I don’t deserve to have done so.
But here’s the thing. My sons, who have not had to grow up where I did, have strong teeth, straight leg bones. They’ve never known what it’s like not to have indoor plumbing, or central heat in their home. They don’t have to deal with rats or mice in their things, and they have nice clothes to wear. They’ve never known hunger- REAL hunger. And God willing, they never will. I would die to ensure it.
Some days, I know, it feels like sharing a recipe is, I don’t know, trite? Trivial? The world is full of sorrows. But it’s also full of joys, too. The best that you can do is to help in the ways that you can manage, without sinking your own boat- because really, how would THAT help anyone at all? Add to the joy in the world where it’s possible, lend a hand where you can- and know that you’re a good person.
Because Princess? You are a good person. It’s OK to receive blessings, and it’s OK to be happy, too. 🙂
Thanks Heather. I needed to hear that. There is much going on in Zimbabwe right now that made me feel this way. I hope and pray it gets better for everyone.
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